Nobody Said It Was Easy

Perseverance and commitment are two big themes that I’ve contemplated about this year.  In the last year,  I’ve explored being single again. I’ve met so many new people, established new friendships, strengthened old relationships, been on some good dates and some not so good. I have jumped into things quickly only to realize again that slowing down is really a better path. I have built walls-thick massive ones to guard my heart and am slowly learning again how to build bridges.  I have been loved, liked, rejected, hurt and charmed.

Divorce rates are at phenomenal highs, and I’m sure that if you were to count the number of friends you have in healthy relationships, the ratio of unhealthy and unhappy ones would overrule. There are many reasons behind this, one being we are no longer marrying for survival, as many in our parents and grandparents generations did, divorce is a lot more attainable and accessible than it was ever before in history, and so forth. However, I think there is also a major shift in our generation’s culture and way of thinking in North America. We live in a consumerist society, where upgrading and striving for the next best thing is the norm and incredibly easy to obtain. We are also fanatics of instant gratification – and our everyday practices of speedy responses via email and text to a purchase or drug to feel some degree of a rush is a common occurrence. We like quick fixes. We want it fast and we want it now. And if you stop to really think about it, this everyday way of being transpires into the way we conduct and go about our relationships as well.

“Things” are disposable and unfortunately, this mentality has equated to a mentality that people can be disposable too. When it feels good, when all the right chemicals are reacting together to create a blissful, passionate harmony, we are “happy” and some would say, “in love”. But when it stops bringing that pleasure, excitement, rush and fun, then the easy thing to do is to dispose of the relationship and just get a new one, or cheat. Of course, I’m not saying everyone is like this, but I do feel many people go about “love” in this manner. This way isn’t necessarily wrong as that would depend on your personal value set and definitions, but for me, I don’t think it is rooted in reality, and practically speaking, it’s exhausting.

Relationships are hard, and true, loyal commitment is even harder. Sometimes you will feel like you are “stuck in reverse”…but if you say those words, “I love you…I can’t live my life without you…” those are powerful words that shouldn’t be treated lightly – they come with promise and faith. And while you may not have the feel good chemicals to push you through those hard times, hopefully your promise and strength will guide you to choose perseverance. I wanted to end with the lyrics of a beautiful song by Coldplay that captures the essence of the persevering through a relationships ups and downs.

The Scientist

By Coldplay

Come up to meet you, tell you I’m sorry

You don’t know how lovely you are.

I had to find you, tell you I need you,

Tell you I set you apart.

Tell me your secrets and ask me your questions,

Oh lets go back to the start.

Running in circles, Comin’ up tails

Heads on a science apart.

Nobody said it was easy,

It’s such a shame for us to part.

Nobody said it was easy,

No one ever said it would be this hard.

Oh take me back to the start.

I was just guessin’ at numbers and figures,

Pulling the puzzles apart.

Questions of science, science and progress

Do not speak as loud as my heart.

And tell me you love me, come back and haunt me

Oh and I rush to the start.

Runnin’ in circles, Chasin’ tails

Comin’ back as we are

Nobody said it was easy,

Oh it’s such a shame for us to part.

Nobody said it was easy,

No one ever said it would be so hard.

Photo credit: Alessandro Pinna

3 Comments

  • Reply September 12, 2009

    koko

    Omg I cried when I read this post – so emotional right now !

  • Reply September 23, 2009

    Miss Passion

    Wow, stunned, and heart warmed. Thank you so much to express how I feel in discriptive, knowlegable words. I just read your 24 then lead me to your blogs. I met you before, seen you around Ginger and have you on facebook… not knowing how powerful your art is. After reading the persistent push for perfection at work on my desk, I can not agree more. Now reading the-nobody says it was easy I can agree even more.

    “We live in a consumerist society, where upgrading and striving for the next best thing is the norm and incredibly easy to obtain. We are also fanatics of instant gratification – and our everyday practices of speedy responses via email and text to a purchase or drug to feel some degree of a rush is a common occurrence. We like quick fixes and we want it fast and we want it now. And if you stop to really think about it, this everyday way of being transpires into the way we conduct and go about our relationships as well.” Amy

    Just want to say thank you for sharing this to our society. A lazy society where we live in and take alot of the most beautiful things that are only felt in the heart for granted.

    Thank you
    G Passion

  • Reply January 15, 2010

    Lauren

    This post was in the 24hour news a while back and I found it so true and powerful – I cut it out and have it on my bulletin board now, and re-read it frequently. Thank you for this, and all your others.

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