The 11 Differences Between Dating a Girl vs a Woman

woman photo by daniele martinie

Recently, I wrote a post on “The 11 Difference Between Dating a Boy vs a Man“. The post can have the genders swapped and most points would still apply. However, we can’t deny that there are some fundamental differences between men and women – from how we are socialized to the chemical and hormonal differences that naturally occur. Thus, I thought it appropriate to follow up with a post on the difference between dating a girl, vs a woman. Again, many points on this post would apply if you switched the genders around.

A boy is attracted to girls. A man is attracted to women. Now, this has nothing to do with the actual age of a person. I’m referring to maturity, life vision and stage of life. In fact, some people regardless of their age, will never really grow up. Also, this isn’t to say that a woman won’t ever have “girlish” or immature tendencies or vice versa. This post refers to one’s maturity and most points would also apply if you switch the genders as well.

If you are a boy, then expect that you will attract only girls. However, if you are a man (independent, knows your worth and value, has a strong moral compass, is considerate and an able communicator and doesn’t let insecurity dominate your psyche), then you should be dating a woman. And if you can’t spot the difference just yet, here are some pointers.

1. A girl throws tantrums. When displeased, upset or angry, she reacts just as she did as a child when she didn’t get her way with her parents. This often consists of screaming, pouting, giving the silent treatment, being passive aggressive and/or punishing. A woman still feels the emotions of being upset/displeased, but has cultivated the skill of responding versus reacting. She comes to the table as an adult, and communicates clearly what is bothering her.

2. A girl perceives herself as a princess and believes people should treat her like so. She is entitled and feels that she is owed and therefore expects more than she appreciates. A woman, has standards (what she holds herself to) not expectations (what she projects on to others).

3. A girl uses her physical beauty as her currency and basis of value. A girl may be so used to feeling validated through her looks and sexuality, that she uses this as her primary tool to get what she wants in life. A woman, knows her worth is beyond her physicality. A woman bases her value on her intelligence, her strength, her integrity, her values, her contributions, her humanity.

4. A girl banks on a man to be her financial strategy. A woman plans to be financially independent – she banks on… herself. And if she so happens to enter a relationship dynamic where it makes sense for her partner to be the primary breadwinner, it’s considered a bonus, not the expected life line.

5. A girl sees the world from a place of lack and scarcity. She competes and will even tear down another in order to secure resources or a mate. A woman helps other women. She knows that there’s plenty enough to go around and takes the high road of integrity to get what she wants.

6. A girl cannot be bothered with anything domestic and is proud of the fact that she cannot cook or clean. A woman understands that being domestic is not a duty, but understands that it is one way of taking care of herself and others. She also understands that in the event she wants to create a family, having a person in the household who can contribute domestically is important.

7. “A girl wants attention, a woman wants respect. A girl wants to be adored by many. A woman wants to be adored by one.” -anonymous

8. A girl does not respect her body.  She has not yet understood that her body and heart are sacred, and that it’s important to be mindful of how she treats it and who she shares it with. “A girl cherishes handbags, diamonds and her shoe collection as her prize possessions. A woman cherishes her health, her sense of self, and her talents as her greatest assets.” – N. Mah

9. A woman takes the time to reflect on the type of human she wants to be, the example she wants to leave and the vision for her life. She has put thought into her values and what she stands for. A girl has not established her moral compass or values and consequently, is often inconsistent. “After spending time with a girl, you feel exhausted because she takes more than she gives. After spending time with a woman, you feel invigorated, because she empowers you with possibility, and a passion for life.” – N. Mah

10. A girl has a checklist that prioritizes superficial qualities above anything else. Here is an example of how this checklist may look: Hot, popular, wears skinny jeans, over 6 feet tall, rich.. This is the checklist of what a woman may look for: High integrity, intelligent, kind, good communicator, emotionally available…

Now, a lot of these differences require taking the time to know someone to figure out if the apple of your eye is indeed a mature woman, or someone with an immature mindset. However, one of the quickest filters that you can notice from the beginning is this:

11. A girl plays games. A woman doesn’t.

A girl jumps from one social circle to another, making fast friends that don’t last. A woman values her deep friendships and nurtures that bond with time, gratitude, energy and thoughtfulness.

Nadia Mah


Photo credit: Daniele Martinie


  • Reply April 8, 2014

    Alex Katniss

    hmm. Something to think about.

  • Reply April 13, 2014


    Nice articles, it’s well-worded and interesting to read, from a female standpoint. If permitted, I would like to add up a twelfth difference, that might well fit with one of yours #3 & #7: “selfies” aren’t empowering, but a cry for help, a high-tech reflection of the fucked up way society teaches women that their most important quality is their physical attractiveness. Therefore, GIRLS relentlessly post “selfies” on their favorite SN, seeking attention, trying to impress and drive other females jealous. Purpose: getting public validation of their looks, taste, etc. The more “likes”, the better! WOMEN are not narcissic since feminity goes beyond the look. If they take photos of themself, it’s driven by confidence, pride of their look, and foremost, they know that her guy will appreciate it, in a private message! So it’s a process through which they share pleasuring content, that must not be available to as many eye-balls as possible. Also, no big deal is made when women share pictures on which they are not at their best or even visible on it…

  • Reply May 16, 2014


    The articles make very valid points. I have read both of them. And there is one prominent way in poise that sticks out to me. With the article related to males – the writer writes the idealistic figure of a man first. Yet, with the article related to females, the writer has a tendency to write the idealistic figure of a woman last. A girl first and a woman last. A man first and a boy last. Why is this.

  • Reply June 5, 2014


    Excellent! One of the best posts I have read on this topic. It makes so much sense and really puts into perspective all the nonsense and immaturity on public display in our very narcissistic western society today.


  • Reply June 5, 2014


    ”After spending time with a woman, you feel invigorated, because she empowers you with possibility, and a passion for life.”

    The above really says it all; it show real understanding and clarity.

    As a man who really appreciates intelligent, strong, emotionally mature and above all caring women, this is so true. I liken the above quote to charging up an emotional battery, giving one renewed strength to go out into our very tough world knowing that there is someone there – a real friend with maturity and experience who really does care – and this also means that you are able to give back the same caring to a woman like this.

    One’s heart is full in a situation like this.


  • […]   Read up on my a few of my sources that point out the differences between dating a boy vs man, and a girl vs a woman. […]

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