Tirajeh Ghazvini, married to Jonathan Flander with a 3 ½ year old son
What is love to you?
Love is unconditional, it is selfless. But love itself is not enough to sustain a life long partnership. Trust and respect is equally important. If there is no respect there is no love.
How did you meet Jonathan?
I was 19 years old, working at a clothing store. There were always guys coming in and out of the store, but nobody ever caught my eye. Then one day, Jonathan walks in. Instantly I was drawn to him. I told all the staff to let me be the one to assist him so I could make sure I got a chance to talk to him.
After we chatted in the store, it felt natural for me to ask him for his number. He was so shocked he started laughing and even blushing. I said, “How about this, if I remember your number I will call you.” That night I went home and called him.
He didn’t take the relationship seriously in the beginning. What changed?
He was concerned about our age difference as he was worried that I didn’t know what I wanted. After our third breakup, he thought I had moved on, and that’s when he realized he could lose me. That’s when he decided to go all in.
What makes your relationship work?
Love is not enough to live with someone day in and day out. That’s where trust comes in and being each other’s number one fan. We’ve grown together and adapted to each other.
After being together for over 12 years, how do you keep romance alive?
We try our best, but when you have a young child it can sometimes be difficult. It’s important to put time aside for yourselves. But it’s really hard to do that so you have to be disciplined and committed to do so.
What do you suggest for others on keeping the flame alive?
Ask yourself when the last time you made out was. Sex is initiated by making out, not a peck on the lips. So make out more!
Also, having a TV in the bedroom is a major problem. Or you’ll end up creating a habit of choosing TV over having sex.
What is your advice to single women who want a relationship?
Don’t try to be someone you’re not to impress or hook a guy. If it’s meant to be, you’ll be amazed at how fast and easy things happen, without you having to struggle. You don’t need to try so hard to make someone like you.
What’s your advice to a man who is dating a great woman but isn’t ready to commit?
If it’s your time to meet someone, and they came into your life – they’ve come in your life for a reason, give it a chance.
What do you love about him?
His heart. I think he’s the nicest, most genuine man I’ve ever met. There isn’t a bad bone in his body.
Any last words of wisdom?
When you have children, remember who came first in your relationship. That’s important. The love of a child is no love you have ever experienced and you become so in love with your child that you forget about your companion. Know how to balance your family style between your children and your partner. Reserve time for each other. For example, if one of you is busy and you see that your partner cant find the time to take a break, then initiate a date night. Taking care of your needs as a couple also makes an impact on your family and everyone will be happy.