34 at 34 – By Contributor Drew Tybus

Birthday balloons boy Michelle Garayburu

In light of my aging another year I’m inclined to capture a few things that I’ve learned this year that seem important to jot down so as not to forget them in the years to come. This, is my 34 at 34.

1. There is an absolute difference between soft serve and hard ice cream and when someone asks you if you want to go out for ice cream, it’s important to know which one they’re referring to and where you’re going to get it.

2. The entire industry of “insurance” is one giant scam/casino game and it’s really unfortunate that the system demands that we play.

3. Dogs can definitely smile, and if you try to figure out what’s making them smile, you’ll likely make yourself happier in the process.

4. Looking at a situation as being better or worse isn’t nearly as helpful as looking at it simply as what was and what is.

5. Don’t bother thinking about what will be, you’ll never guess right.

6. There is 100% difference between bad gas, good gas and premium gas, and if you let your car go to empty once in a while and fill it with the high-end stuff, it will absolutely drive better.

7. Being wealthy is not the same as having class. Rich people can absolutely be low-class.

8. Honor and integrity are way more valuable than we give them credit for. To truly be a man of your word is worth more than money can buy.

9. 500 feet is the acceptable amount of distance to drive in reverse on the shoulder of the highway if you’ve missed an exit. Anything more than that and you have to go to the next exit.

10. Following the recipe isn’t nearly as fun as making it up as you go, but it does tend to come out better that way.

11. Heartbreak at any age is devastating, but can help us find out a lot about ourselves.

12. When facing a beautiful view, getting a picture is great, but taking the scene in completely with all of our senses is way more important.

13. When hosting a party, if you insist on making salad, serve it before anything else comes out, otherwise you end up forcing people to pity-eat it after they’ve gorged themselves on everything else.

14. Life is strange, fragile and short, and it’s important to tell people that you love them and that they’re important to you.

15. In 2015 it is entirely unacceptable for anyone under the age of 90 to not have an EZ-Pass in their car.

16. Diet is way more important than exercise.

17. Nothing (no event, sleep, personal obligation) is more important than one more episode of whatever you’re binging on Netflix or HBO.

18. Talking to a professional once in a while helps put things in perspective better than talking to people who know you.

19. True artists can’t contain their abilities and talent, it seeps out of them in some way.

20. People who ask, “what’s your sign?” too early in a relationship are weird and should be monitored closely.

21. No one ever really gets mad at anyone else for “no reason.” There’s always a reason.

22. If a police officer stops you, you don’t shout at them and point a phone at them and challenge them, you simply answer their questions and say “Yes Sir, No Sir,” and let a lawyer sort it out if it comes to that.

23. Good friends are the ones who introduce you as their friend, rather than by your profession.

24. Hiking poles are awesome tools and will save years on your knees.

25. People, mostly men over the age of 60, who insist on belittling or arguing with minimum wage workers at restaurants, stores or airports are the equivalent of a two year old having a fit at the market.

26. For a million dollars if you had to explain what three of your closest friends actually do for a living there’s no way you’d get it right.

27. No one will ever, “…one day realize” or “…eventually understand” so don’t bother waiting for that.

28. Women will without question rule the world one day*… (when that day is has been edited to ensure my safety on that day)

29. Men will forever believe, that they “had a chance” with any woman that smiles at them, including the flight attendant who hate-smiles at you as you exit the plane.

30. Anyone who knowingly lets you walk around with something in your teeth, on your shirt or while your hair is out of place is not to be trusted.

31. The Ole Miss tailgate in The Grove is without question the best tailgate in all of sports.

32. A little bit of cinnamon in a dark roast coffee is delicious, and that’s why they put it out by the milk and sugar.

33. Teaching, leading, managing and mentoring are all separate things and all equally important.

34. People who use the word “retarded” immediately lose credibility and respect.

By contributor, Drew Tybus

Photo by: Michelle Garayburu

 

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