Nobody Said It Was Easy

Perseverance and commitment are two big themes that I’ve contemplated about this year.  In the last year,  I’ve explored being single again. I’ve met so many new people, established new friendships, strengthened old relationships, been on some good dates and some not so good. I have jumped into things quickly only to realize again that slowing down is really a better path. I have built walls-thick massive ones to guard my heart and am slowly learning again how to build bridges.  I have been loved, liked, rejected, hurt and charmed.

Divorce rates are at phenomenal highs, and I’m sure that if you were to count the number of friends you have in healthy relationships, the ratio of unhealthy and unhappy ones would overrule. There are many reasons behind this, one being we are no longer marrying for survival, as many in our parents and grandparents generations did, divorce is a lot more attainable and accessible than it was ever before in history, and so forth. However, I think there is also a major shift in our generation’s culture and way of thinking in North America. We live in a consumerist society, where upgrading and striving for the next best thing is the norm and incredibly easy to obtain. We are also fanatics of instant gratification – and our everyday practices of speedy responses via email and text to a purchase or drug to feel some degree of a rush is a common occurrence. We like quick fixes. We want it fast and we want it now. And if you stop to really think about it, this everyday way of being transpires into the way we conduct and go about our relationships as well.

“Things” are disposable and unfortunately, this mentality has equated to a mentality that people can be disposable too. When it feels good, when all the right chemicals are reacting together to create a blissful, passionate harmony, we are “happy” and some would say, “in love”. But when it stops bringing that pleasure, excitement, rush and fun, then the easy thing to do is to dispose of the relationship and just get a new one, or cheat. Of course, I’m not saying everyone is like this, but I do feel many people go about “love” in this manner. This way isn’t necessarily wrong as that would depend on your personal value set and definitions, but for me, I don’t think it is rooted in reality, and practically speaking, it’s exhausting.

Relationships are hard, and true, loyal commitment is even harder. Sometimes you will feel like you are “stuck in reverse”…but if you say those words, “I love you…I can’t live my life without you…” those are powerful words that shouldn’t be treated lightly – they come with promise and faith. And while you may not have the feel good chemicals to push you through those hard times, hopefully your promise and strength will guide you to choose perseverance. I wanted to end with the lyrics of a beautiful song by Coldplay that captures the essence of the persevering through a relationships ups and downs.