I started this series because I constantly hear people complain about the dating culture in Vancouver. I often hear that “all the good ones are taken” or that people are snobby and not open to meet people outside of their cliques. I beg to differ. I think there are amazing single people in this city, it’s just hard to find these gems. Going to clubs is not an ideal venue to get to know someone, and if you don’t have friends introducing you to other quality people, it can be difficult to find these “catches”. So this series is to change that perception and highlight some of the high-integrity, ambitious, attractive, confident singles of Vancouver who have pearls of wisdom to share on love and dating.
Name: @EchoQuan, Grad student and freelance writer
What is an important thing to look for in a partner?
Someone who has quality friendships and knows how to love well in that context. Friendship is so important to me because I see it as the foundation of any good relationship, especially a romantic one, so you need a good base. Being a great friend is not accidental – it takes a lot of effort and you have to be very intentional.
What did you learn from your last relationship?
When to walk away. In my last relationship, I over-compromised. I was always focusing on the other person that I didn’t honour my own value. When you’re constantly working on the relationship, it’s easy to forget to ask yourself “Am I actually happy?”
What do you think makes a healthy relationship?
Mutual trust is a non-negotiable. Laughter. Growing – someone who makes you better and who you make better in return.
Why do you think relationships fail?
It’s important to know the difference between what you want and what you need. You can compromise on a want, but not on a need.
What have you learned about getting through heartbreak?
I think that heartbreak isn’t exclusive to romantic relationships; it’s just a part of life. Some of my biggest heartbreaks have been with friendships or my career, and it’s heartbreaking because you had a vision for how things were going to be, and put so much into it. So for me, getting through it has been about developing a bigger vision of who you are and what you’re building.
If you were to give advice to your younger self, what would it be?
Honestly, I don’t know if I would have listened! We’re never short of good advice. We always know deep down what we should do, but end up doing what we want to do. So I’d ask my younger self to be aware of the deeper reasons why I didn’t listen to my better judgment and gut feelings.
Any last words of wisdom?
Love the season that you’re in. Singleness is a season, dating is a season, and marriage is a season. Be in love with your season because life is so awesome in all these different stages. It’s great to want to be in a relationship, it’s a great thing to want, but we have the rest of our lives to be married, so if you’re single, embrace and enjoy it.